I’m sorry mom

At such a young age I had figured out right from wrong but fear played a huge role. Fear of hurting my mother, breaking apart the only family I have. My mom is not educated, worked at minimum wage, my dad had some luck over the years, landed a $70k gig in his 20’s. I think I was 12-13 years old when it really hit me, if I opened my mouth what will happen to us? Will I get in trouble? Where will my sisters and I live? Will my mom hate me? This was a lot of responsibility for a preteen. How do I be a kid again? I couldn’t. By the age of 18, I had a plan to get out of the house. Join the army and never look back. I was running and I wanted to run as far as I could. But I couldn’t, at 18 I was scared to leave my mom and sisters with that man, the one who would physically, verbally and sexually abuse us. Only thing, no one knew about the sexual abuse but me or so I thought.

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