In search of peace

Hi, I recently join this blog. My cousin actually proposed it to me as a way to help me reach out, or to help talk about what we’ve been thru and continue to go thru.  Now , I’m going to be honest. I find it very hard. I’ve always have kept everything to my self, thinking I’m the only one going thru it. As I got older and realized how common it was, instead of helping cope with it . I feel like I suppress it even more and it created FEAR inside of  me.

But before I get into all of that. I’m going to tell you a little bit about my self. I’m 32, with 3 amazing kids, although they drive me insane sometimes. They also center me, their the reason I won’t give up. I’ve been thru a lot in these 32 yrs of my life. From sexual abuse , physical abuse , divorce, mental abuse,  Even sexual harassment at work.

Although I have siblings and you could say a I have some support at home. I just couldn’t  let anyone know what was happening to me. Being the oldest in the family., Made me feel like I had to be strong for everyone so whatever I was going  thru didn’t really matter. That’s how I’ve carried myself for all these years. Until tragedy hit home.  When I found out that I wasn’t the only going thru this , but it had happen to my sister and cousin. I was devastated in the sense of not being their to help them. The taunting thoughts “what if I would said something ” maybe they would of been spared” “ Why didn’t I say anything ?”  And “ why did this happen to us” Just because it’s still  hard for me to get into details about what happen. I’m just gonna say a uncle/ father did things to his daughters and nieces that have SCARD them forever……

If you guys want to continue with me , on this journey to find peace let me know .  I will keep sharing.

Thank you.

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